total page views

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

THIN AIR

"Souls are not designed to float around in thin air." A. Chiu



Thin Air 

You rest in thin air
with things like
a lingering scent,
a child’s outcry,
a foreign language,
a distant chill as you drift by
on the intent of your path.

You rest in thin air--
subtle and palatable--
a veil of consequence,
a mile of destinies,
a chance at a fork in the road;
white wings of hope lay low in
a solitary flight of time.

You rest in thin air,
inside the hourglass
of you;  I am lost in the
cacophony of your trust.
My tiny describable breaths
pull you into my chest
barely nourishing what is left.
  TJKG
Read some more great poetry at dverse

13 comments:

  1. wow.so much in that last stanza...the hourglass of you...lost in the cacophony of your trust...and pulling into the chest...barely nourishing...ok i realize i pretty much just retyped your last stanza back to you but...smiles...good stuff..

    ReplyDelete
  2. 'a veil of consequences
    a mile of destinies'

    You wove so much rich language inside this poem. And yes, as Brian said above, that last stanza is a good one!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tracy, may I be the third to say that last stanza is awesome. This poem is written with beauty and softness. Truly lovely.

    Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  4. Absolutely wonderful images here. Too many to quote, but "miles of destinies" was breathtaking - I thought "perfect" as I read it, but it didn't slow me down. Exquisite.

    ReplyDelete
  5. stunning descriptions. you stir so many images and thoughts up in this piece...lovely!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Great images here and wonderful last stanza. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Like the refraining first line in each verses, and then that last stanza is specially lovely ~

    Nice to meet you ~

    ReplyDelete
  8. Language used seemingly effortlessly to embody thought and emotion is the floating soul of poetry. Especially like the second lines of each stanza--great description.

    ReplyDelete
  9. the hourglass of you is a great image...the trust part and breath pulling you into the chest...makes the abstract so visible

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi,

    I enjoyed this one I especially enjoyed the middle stanza..

    a veil of consequence,
    a mile of destinies,

    ReplyDelete
  11. I enjoyed this very much...and the suggestion of a "sphere" where the subtle things live, such as a lingering scent or destinys, consequences and time was very fresh. Thank you for sharing this...

    ReplyDelete
  12. I love the intensely evocative imagery you've used here. Great write.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Okay, so I find myself agreeing with Brian more often than not - the last stanza is great. I like "white wings of hope lay low in a solitary flight of time." It brought to me images of Pandora's box and the Dali where time is melting. Another one is "a distant chill as you drift by...", very vivid imagery.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for taking a moment to leave me your word of wisdom.