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Wednesday, October 31, 2012


Months have passed since I have lived at my house, and with Sandy's powerful hit, who knows what delays this will bring to my reconstruction. Patience to those who have felt the power of MOTHER NATURE.

The Impossibility of Returning Home

I was not trying to pull you from my forgotten groin
as you licked me with dragon’s fire directly over my metal armor.
I was not trying to forge the inside of your heart with pride,
or change the rusty seat of each wicked muscle.
I was not trying to push opulent words over your fa├žade--
it was your insatiable fire that locked fear in me--
made me turn into an unrecognizable form, a dragon slayer.  Defeat
mixed into my blood and oxygen; I  fed your coral flames with death.
I was not giving into the burn of your speech or
the rake of your claws across my scorched linoleum.
I did not listen to your mouth’s hissing blaze,
as my body felt shame for our impersonal destruction.
I was not trying to burn away anyone’s sins--
not mine, not yours, not filth and soot’s gossamer presence.
Fearlessness settled in my head-- get them out, get them out.
Outside a quiet night passed through me; you drink the rain,
the sweet earth opens, moist dirt mists my nostrils,
white fog lifts from the ground as if to resurrect me to God.   
You take one last breath, exhaling dust onto my unsettled LIFE.

My flesh, your metal, a ghostly bronze angel;
I simply asked for a new kitchen.

Monday, October 29, 2012


Smile Therapy 39

I am in smile therapy
when I roll my daughter's
hair in my mom's hot rollers.


Thursday, October 25, 2012


Today.... there is no need for quote just breath, and with this I ask-- Why do people remind us to breathe when things are tenuous in life?


There are
tiny boxes
inside my head--
some are locked,
and some
I live with like friends,
or  lovers,
and others are
enemies probing for keys.

Some are
filled with horror,
and bliss, and tender,
and lies,
and knives
cutting into my life,
and guile under glass.

And life--it comes with a BREATH--
not boxed inside with the begging
need to be
a sister,
a mother,
a tragedy,
a continuance.  

Monday, October 22, 2012


Smile Therapy 38

I am in smile therapy
when my teenager plays
dress up in my shoes.
Oddly reminds me of the
Wicket Witch of the West.


Thursday, October 18, 2012


 Perfection is the greatest form of self-abuse. Tao Te Ching



You just stood and turned,
a poised Norwegian creature, too shy to face   
the reflection of your own imperfections.
Your profile framed in a bar-room window,
coyly waits, just to know if someone will recognize
the slip of delicate fingers over
shimmers of platinum hair, notice
the slight veil of bare eye lids which umbrella
fear from unjust, lips with words just behind them.
Just cause,
the neon jury blinks red,
warning your attempts at not honoring your voice.


Monday, October 15, 2012


Smile Therapy 37

I am in smile therapy
when I try and unlock
a public rest room
door with my car keys.


Monday, October 8, 2012


Smile Therapy 36

I am in smile therapy
when I sit in a big
blue chair which makes
me feel like I am
Alice in Wonderland !


Saturday, October 6, 2012


Sentimental Addiction

Not a sage alternative to cigarettes--
your spit and Skoal mix in a Starbucks’ cup.
Is  your white matter high?
Brown saliva and tobacco,  
battered pine cone, sap
dangling from one corner of your mouth.

I contemplate deference.
Broken lath and broken stone; one heart hung low.
Yellow wires threaded through support beams--
calloused hands barely reach to decorate the
basement ceiling , a soldered red star,
the lines of power  
ruffle nerves abolished on electric wires.
Still can’t reach the tippy top.
Holiday canister fills in as steps,
(gingerly packed last December) work-boot
prints a stranger’s history;
a grown man stands on a child’s memories;
not dead yet not alive.

Battered and abandoned are
disregarded Christmas adoration—
slivers of tinsel, confetti of silver
inlaid in a basement of soot and dirt. 
A new key, a new lock,
an old house
ransacked and scolded by souls
who don’t inhabit or celebrate
the warmth of her hollow heart.

Monday, October 1, 2012


Smile Therapy 35

I am in smile therapy
knowing I am tough
on the inside
with a smile
on the outside.