Thin Air
You rest in thin air
with things like
a lingering scent,
a child’s outcry,
a foreign language,
a distant chill as you drift by
on the intent of your path.
You rest in thin air--
subtle and palatable--
a veil of consequence,
a mile of destinies,
a chance at a fork in the road;
white wings of hope lay low in
a solitary flight of time.
You rest in thin air,
inside the hourglass
of you; I am lost
in the
cacophony of your trust.
My tiny describable breaths
pull you into my chest
barely nourishing what is left.
TJKGRead some more great poetry at dverse
wow.so much in that last stanza...the hourglass of you...lost in the cacophony of your trust...and pulling into the chest...barely nourishing...ok i realize i pretty much just retyped your last stanza back to you but...smiles...good stuff..
ReplyDelete'a veil of consequences
ReplyDeletea mile of destinies'
You wove so much rich language inside this poem. And yes, as Brian said above, that last stanza is a good one!
Tracy, may I be the third to say that last stanza is awesome. This poem is written with beauty and softness. Truly lovely.
ReplyDeletePamela
Absolutely wonderful images here. Too many to quote, but "miles of destinies" was breathtaking - I thought "perfect" as I read it, but it didn't slow me down. Exquisite.
ReplyDeletestunning descriptions. you stir so many images and thoughts up in this piece...lovely!
ReplyDeleteGreat images here and wonderful last stanza. :)
ReplyDeleteLike the refraining first line in each verses, and then that last stanza is specially lovely ~
ReplyDeleteNice to meet you ~
Language used seemingly effortlessly to embody thought and emotion is the floating soul of poetry. Especially like the second lines of each stanza--great description.
ReplyDeletethe hourglass of you is a great image...the trust part and breath pulling you into the chest...makes the abstract so visible
ReplyDeleteHi,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this one I especially enjoyed the middle stanza..
a veil of consequence,
a mile of destinies,
I enjoyed this very much...and the suggestion of a "sphere" where the subtle things live, such as a lingering scent or destinys, consequences and time was very fresh. Thank you for sharing this...
ReplyDeleteI love the intensely evocative imagery you've used here. Great write.
ReplyDeleteOkay, so I find myself agreeing with Brian more often than not - the last stanza is great. I like "white wings of hope lay low in a solitary flight of time." It brought to me images of Pandora's box and the Dali where time is melting. Another one is "a distant chill as you drift by...", very vivid imagery.
ReplyDelete