Feel free to leave me a message this time, and let me know how life has taught you?
Every stress leaves an indelible scar, and the organism pays for its survival after a stressful situation by becoming a little older. Hans Selye
Forty Years of the Aerialist
I am walking a tightrope
with abandoned recklessness
over a blanket of black.
My shadowed eyes will not deny
the shaking mirage of
shattered rationalizations found
in the sordidness of eroded demons,
as she creeps into my weariness,
into my soul’s sojourn, and
into my quiet solitude. I write.
I write
my abducted love letter to her.
I write in the red blood of salt
afar. I write to the double house
of death and rebirth—I write
of a simple switch from
distorted alternate layers
as the cold white morning
rises and the curtain is
slowly drawn.
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Saturday, October 29, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
IT IS HELD IN A SIGNATURE
The will of the human body and the mind matches the dignity of freedom a person has as they are fighting for their breath.
Freedom is the right to one's dignity as a man. Archibald MacLeish
It Is Held In a Signature
A man’s breathing is depending
on his signature.
A black and blue journey
of a hand that shook ferociously
on the 5th Tuesday, the day he
signed for his own life of freedom.
“I will scrap the inside of your
lung, removing the creamy infection
that is consuming your air.”
A strong debilitated body,
a straight-spine will,
a pen which respects his dignity
as a Dr. confirms yes sir and Mr…
His patient looks into his doctor's
eyes and prays for experience--
A gentleman slowly signs his name
and wishes the surgeon good luck,
not good bye.
Freedom is the right to one's dignity as a man. Archibald MacLeish
It Is Held In a Signature
A man’s breathing is depending
on his signature.
A black and blue journey
of a hand that shook ferociously
on the 5th Tuesday, the day he
signed for his own life of freedom.
“I will scrap the inside of your
lung, removing the creamy infection
that is consuming your air.”
A strong debilitated body,
a straight-spine will,
a pen which respects his dignity
as a Dr. confirms yes sir and Mr…
His patient looks into his doctor's
eyes and prays for experience--
A gentleman slowly signs his name
and wishes the surgeon good luck,
not good bye.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
YOUR WILES WILL NOT WORK ON ME THIS MORNING
The voices in our heads are stopping and starting us as we journey through our lives. I am blessed with the gift of crafting words, this gift quells some of the voices living in my head.
Every word written is a victory against death. Michel Butor
Your Wiles Will Not Work on Me This Morning
I sat on the edge,
on the edge of a
rectangular desk--
built of some kind
of manufactured wood.
I sat on the edge
of my writer's desk
and
thought of you
and the silent words you
say to me every
Monday morning.
It was a burning love affair
filled with
keys and locks,
clocks and steps,
backspaces and forgiveness,
still moving
in a thousand crazy directions,
and then you teased me with a tiny
mirage of right.
I sat on the edge
falling into your fray,
spiraling into your blind imagination,
unraveling under your
words, tempted
by your automated intention.
I sat on the edge of
feminine wiles
and searched for stars
too far
from reach, and realized the dark
reminds me of you,
of your masculine manipulations,
of a child’s need for deceit.
I sat on the edge
looking for the cause
and not the purpose
and know it lives inside
me and I returned to my seat
and I found a simple
love affair with the divine.
Every word written is a victory against death. Michel Butor
Your Wiles Will Not Work on Me This Morning
I sat on the edge,
on the edge of a
rectangular desk--
built of some kind
of manufactured wood.
I sat on the edge
of my writer's desk
and
thought of you
and the silent words you
say to me every
Monday morning.
It was a burning love affair
filled with
keys and locks,
clocks and steps,
backspaces and forgiveness,
still moving
in a thousand crazy directions,
and then you teased me with a tiny
mirage of right.
I sat on the edge
falling into your fray,
spiraling into your blind imagination,
unraveling under your
words, tempted
by your automated intention.
I sat on the edge of
feminine wiles
and searched for stars
too far
from reach, and realized the dark
reminds me of you,
of your masculine manipulations,
of a child’s need for deceit.
I sat on the edge
looking for the cause
and not the purpose
and know it lives inside
me and I returned to my seat
and I found a simple
love affair with the divine.
Friday, October 14, 2011
THE TRUTH IS...
It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense.
Mark Twain
The Truth Is…
The truth is...
Life does not kill you-- it makes you stronger.
I would rather be the crane waiting patiently,
or the sturdy branch the tall bird is meditating on, or
even the silver fish nourishing the white bird’s glory.
The truth is...
Love is not a choice-- it weaves itself into your responsibility.
I would rather be the full moon loving the morning,
the two slowly trading the seductive light shimmering on the lake,
or the twosome moving rhythmically trading day for night.
The truth is...
Time lives on, embracing the halo of the natural world.
The song of her breath trembles at your presence,
the turn of time in spokes of wooden rings, buds slowly opening,
a chance to climb even higher to broaden a borrowed view.
The truth is...
Life birthed something monumental for you.
I am carved in your soul, a mosaic helix of raindrops,
our initials whittled into the flesh of my tree trunk,
moving slowly upward, transformed over weathered time.
The truth is...
I don’t want to know the truth anymore.
Mark Twain
The Truth Is…
The truth is...
Life does not kill you-- it makes you stronger.
I would rather be the crane waiting patiently,
or the sturdy branch the tall bird is meditating on, or
even the silver fish nourishing the white bird’s glory.
The truth is...
Love is not a choice-- it weaves itself into your responsibility.
I would rather be the full moon loving the morning,
the two slowly trading the seductive light shimmering on the lake,
or the twosome moving rhythmically trading day for night.
The truth is...
Time lives on, embracing the halo of the natural world.
The song of her breath trembles at your presence,
the turn of time in spokes of wooden rings, buds slowly opening,
a chance to climb even higher to broaden a borrowed view.
The truth is...
Life birthed something monumental for you.
I am carved in your soul, a mosaic helix of raindrops,
our initials whittled into the flesh of my tree trunk,
moving slowly upward, transformed over weathered time.
The truth is...
I don’t want to know the truth anymore.
Sunday, October 9, 2011
BLUE NIGHT
I wrote Blue Night in 2009 and just recently taught the poem to a college level writing class. The students were so moved by the words and I was moved by their reaction, I decided that I should post it.
Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~Judy Garland
Blue Night
Blue night,
I will not sleep, I will refuse you,
I will trick you and dream awake.
One hundred nights died for the truth of one day.
It is you I become in the night.
It is you I fade into the dark shadows with,
my heart swells in the shallow of my chest. I am
shivering inside, with no where to hide. A forest of
imaginary creatures creating fears in my blinded mind.
Swaying in the dark of the night, leaving
bloody footprints at the doorstep of my heart.
I fight to forget our last kiss,
I fight to forget our last touch,
I fight to forget your smell, I fight your image
as it drags me through hours of black hell.
Blue night,
I will not sleep, I will refuse you,
I will trick you and dream awake.
One hundred nights died for the truth of one day.
In the cerulean darkness,
lapping at the gritty beach,
your cracking sky emits truth over a
complex collection of hidden lies.
You know no other light but dark,
rejecting truth in favor of illusion.
Blue is my resurrection.
It is the color of my blood moving
through the rivers of my veins;
it is the color I turn when cold;
it is the color I will be when dead.
It is you I fight in the night.
I am what morning counted on last night.
Blue night,
I will not sleep, I will refuse you,
I will trick you and dream awake.
One hundred nights died for the truth of one day.
Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~Judy Garland
Blue Night
Blue night,
I will not sleep, I will refuse you,
I will trick you and dream awake.
One hundred nights died for the truth of one day.
It is you I become in the night.
It is you I fade into the dark shadows with,
my heart swells in the shallow of my chest. I am
shivering inside, with no where to hide. A forest of
imaginary creatures creating fears in my blinded mind.
Swaying in the dark of the night, leaving
bloody footprints at the doorstep of my heart.
I fight to forget our last kiss,
I fight to forget our last touch,
I fight to forget your smell, I fight your image
as it drags me through hours of black hell.
Blue night,
I will not sleep, I will refuse you,
I will trick you and dream awake.
One hundred nights died for the truth of one day.
In the cerulean darkness,
lapping at the gritty beach,
your cracking sky emits truth over a
complex collection of hidden lies.
You know no other light but dark,
rejecting truth in favor of illusion.
Blue is my resurrection.
It is the color of my blood moving
through the rivers of my veins;
it is the color I turn when cold;
it is the color I will be when dead.
It is you I fight in the night.
I am what morning counted on last night.
Blue night,
I will not sleep, I will refuse you,
I will trick you and dream awake.
One hundred nights died for the truth of one day.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
BLACK SPOT ON A ROSE
Note: This poem is a conversation in the mind of mankind, the parenthesis represent the whispers of the conscious.
"I am strong because I know my weaknesses, I am alive because I am a fighter, I am wise because I've been foolish, I laugh because I've known sadness!"
Black Spot on a Rose
The man walks as a ghost in a blackened dinner jacket.
(she owns a black spot of
resentment burned on her soul)
He hated the spotted red rose pinned to the cross of his left lapel.
(she was tempted by hatred
and ate jealousy’s red apple)
The man is judged by the thin blood from his heart on his white skin.
(she should know betrayal is
what caused her to lose faith)
His faith is the traitor in the verdict of the silvery night.
(her religion is the original sin;
the sin we are all living with)
The turning of three clock hands deems evil to the man's time.
(she staked an accusation to her soul
that haunts her throughout her life)
Each of the man's steps chews deeper into haunting eternity.
(her diseased rose is the collective sin
of mankind for which she has to atone)
The man falls pray to the mouths of triple-headed betrayal.
(running from a single ray of sunlight;
her growing black spot cloaks her soul)
The hollow man walks down empty side streets confused.
(she is the eclipse of her moon)
"I am strong because I know my weaknesses, I am alive because I am a fighter, I am wise because I've been foolish, I laugh because I've known sadness!"
Black Spot on a Rose
The man walks as a ghost in a blackened dinner jacket.
(she owns a black spot of
resentment burned on her soul)
He hated the spotted red rose pinned to the cross of his left lapel.
(she was tempted by hatred
and ate jealousy’s red apple)
The man is judged by the thin blood from his heart on his white skin.
(she should know betrayal is
what caused her to lose faith)
His faith is the traitor in the verdict of the silvery night.
(her religion is the original sin;
the sin we are all living with)
The turning of three clock hands deems evil to the man's time.
(she staked an accusation to her soul
that haunts her throughout her life)
Each of the man's steps chews deeper into haunting eternity.
(her diseased rose is the collective sin
of mankind for which she has to atone)
The man falls pray to the mouths of triple-headed betrayal.
(running from a single ray of sunlight;
her growing black spot cloaks her soul)
The hollow man walks down empty side streets confused.
(she is the eclipse of her moon)
Friday, September 30, 2011
A SINGLE LIGHT AT YOUR DOORSTEP
While living in the midst of the illness of my father-in-law, we should all pray for the positive health for the ones we love.
“Compassion is sometimes the fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else's skin. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too.”
Frederick Buechner
A Single Light at Your Doorstep
As the moon rose and set,
I let you
go on my
plea of promised sleep
even though
my heart mourns sea blue
and
the yellow of pollen,
thick with infection, and
there is no time for you
or me
to find compassion
in this chaotic
trilogy filled with loss.
I will let you rest from another
day of
hidden sorrow, from a
tragedy that has not yet
hit your house,
and still you show
up under
the guise of giving flowers
on a sunny
day in October.
“Compassion is sometimes the fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else's skin. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too.”
Frederick Buechner
A Single Light at Your Doorstep
As the moon rose and set,
I let you
go on my
plea of promised sleep
even though
my heart mourns sea blue
and
the yellow of pollen,
thick with infection, and
there is no time for you
or me
to find compassion
in this chaotic
trilogy filled with loss.
I will let you rest from another
day of
hidden sorrow, from a
tragedy that has not yet
hit your house,
and still you show
up under
the guise of giving flowers
on a sunny
day in October.
Monday, September 26, 2011
LUNCH TIME
I have one word for this poem. Endurance.
A door opens to me. I go in and am faced with a hundred closed doors. ~Antonio Porchia
Lunch Time
A riveting wild smile, the girl turned into
every woman as she walked through parallel doors.
The slow flow of her intimacy came from within and
she was camouflaged inside her demur destiny of
feathered words and unspoken lifetimes.
Unspoken between the turned kitchen table
and the white alleyway of a frozen bed,
between the rage of words unsaid,
each etched in the memory of a stone,
and between the lives that follow her
from a hundred states of black, white, and gray.
Each minute left a little bit of someone else
in her pining mouth,
in her pulsing fluid soul,
in her fate of dictated wills, all
churning in rhythmic certainty.
She was incapable of staying; all the while
she was incapable of moving away.
She was simply incapable of departing
on that day her children came home.
A door opens to me. I go in and am faced with a hundred closed doors. ~Antonio Porchia
Lunch Time
A riveting wild smile, the girl turned into
every woman as she walked through parallel doors.
The slow flow of her intimacy came from within and
she was camouflaged inside her demur destiny of
feathered words and unspoken lifetimes.
Unspoken between the turned kitchen table
and the white alleyway of a frozen bed,
between the rage of words unsaid,
each etched in the memory of a stone,
and between the lives that follow her
from a hundred states of black, white, and gray.
Each minute left a little bit of someone else
in her pining mouth,
in her pulsing fluid soul,
in her fate of dictated wills, all
churning in rhythmic certainty.
She was incapable of staying; all the while
she was incapable of moving away.
She was simply incapable of departing
on that day her children came home.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
RED RED RED
I was going through some old papers and I found this poem that I wrote 23 years ago. I changed it a bit although it reflects the woman that I was at 24 as well as the woman I am today.
I THINK that I shall never see a poem lovely as a tree.
Joyce Kilmer
Red Red Red
Intermingled,
our calloused hands weep.
Painfully, we wait for
time to erase the night
that we just endured.
We walk through
the dimly lit woods.
The dark envelopes us and
nature continues to plead
with her shadowed humor.
Internally, my ego convinces
me to walk until my heart
adjourns
and turns to leave
with the hazy moon.
One pair of human
hands continue
to turn counter clockwise.
Looking up to the kaleidoscope
of lost tree tops,
so much depends upon
the black shards of leaves.
I am a single one standing still,
so small as
our sapling love
fills my own heart with
a vivid dismay.
It is the small seeds of
love and hate.
I THINK that I shall never see a poem lovely as a tree.
Joyce Kilmer
Red Red Red
Intermingled,
our calloused hands weep.
Painfully, we wait for
time to erase the night
that we just endured.
We walk through
the dimly lit woods.
The dark envelopes us and
nature continues to plead
with her shadowed humor.
Internally, my ego convinces
me to walk until my heart
adjourns
and turns to leave
with the hazy moon.
One pair of human
hands continue
to turn counter clockwise.
Looking up to the kaleidoscope
of lost tree tops,
so much depends upon
the black shards of leaves.
I am a single one standing still,
so small as
our sapling love
fills my own heart with
a vivid dismay.
It is the small seeds of
love and hate.
Monday, September 12, 2011
THE TENTH PART
I tried to explain to my girls the concept of communication when I was their age. I told them that I would walk down the street to the drug store where the public pay phonebooth was to make a call to my girlfriend. I wanted privacy to talk about what ever was so important. You know...the land line in the kitchen did not stretch far enough away from curious ears. We laughed saying it was the 1980's cell phone. Maybe times have changed although I believe it is where you look to see how people communicate.
“Hello, hello. This is Romeo. Calling from a jackpot telephone.”
No Souvenirs by Melissa Etheridge
The Tenth Part
The metal accordion door closes; I’m breathing. I finger
the silver dime and drop it into the coin slot. Written directions
to make a call, our future connection is harder to read in the distance.
A melancholy dial tone, patience; she is truly there.
I hear the operator’s voice, sorry honey, a busy signal--
our human connection is twisted in the corded phone.
What once seemed a perfect balance, I hear, please try again.
Pay for who you talk to, leave behind regret and disappointment.
My past is trapped inside a phone booth of four transparent walls.
Standing solitary in a glass box of soaked emotion, phone
conversations carelessly coined and kissed, the plastic receiver is
feral in the ethereal night; the change clinks and time runs out.
“Hello, hello. This is Romeo. Calling from a jackpot telephone.”
No Souvenirs by Melissa Etheridge
The Tenth Part
The metal accordion door closes; I’m breathing. I finger
the silver dime and drop it into the coin slot. Written directions
to make a call, our future connection is harder to read in the distance.
A melancholy dial tone, patience; she is truly there.
I hear the operator’s voice, sorry honey, a busy signal--
our human connection is twisted in the corded phone.
What once seemed a perfect balance, I hear, please try again.
Pay for who you talk to, leave behind regret and disappointment.
My past is trapped inside a phone booth of four transparent walls.
Standing solitary in a glass box of soaked emotion, phone
conversations carelessly coined and kissed, the plastic receiver is
feral in the ethereal night; the change clinks and time runs out.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
WORDS FROM MY SOUL
Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one's weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.
Mohandas Gandhi
Words From My Soul
In the vast well of my heart,
tears fill arteries of
memories and upset.
In your sturdy way,
in weather tumultuous
you arrive and hold my heart.
I am beyond stirred
by the simple note
of your kind word,
they erupt inside me as
an effusion of emotions
swelling each stone.
You have helped me
forget and remember,
why my feet sink on this path,
and I feel your prayer fill me
and your blood lift me and
your heart nourish my unknowing,
as your tear of compassion
rolls down my cheek
and are absorbed in my heart.
Mohandas Gandhi
Words From My Soul
In the vast well of my heart,
tears fill arteries of
memories and upset.
In your sturdy way,
in weather tumultuous
you arrive and hold my heart.
I am beyond stirred
by the simple note
of your kind word,
they erupt inside me as
an effusion of emotions
swelling each stone.
You have helped me
forget and remember,
why my feet sink on this path,
and I feel your prayer fill me
and your blood lift me and
your heart nourish my unknowing,
as your tear of compassion
rolls down my cheek
and are absorbed in my heart.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
PHI IS A MYSTERIOUS NUMBER
I came across this mannequin's face in the AIDS Thrift Store in Center City and the plugged in faces seemed to scream questions from their lips directly to my sense of poetry, hence the creation of art in a controversial way. I feel a poem coming on!
Never mix your women. Charles Jerningham
Phi is a Mysterious Number
Fighting for the front forum
the cracking open has started.
Just throw the fedora to the past
and find a glimpse into the
reflection of the multiple personalities
living inside each individual’s head.
Her heads, inside of heads,
slipping inside of heads, all demanding
a certain measure of face value.
She was wearing veneer glasses
yesterday,
propped onto a undiscerning nose. She was
seeing external faces with an internal tone.
Faces creeping up the catacomb of neural cords
patiently waiting for the front view--
hoarding faces, fighting faces,
sexual kitten, Marilyn Monroe.
Does she crave
the golden ratio of the face
as her Barbie pink vision
melts into June Cleaver, a witch
doctor, a cat fight,
a prostitute of position,
a sot smeared firewoman,
the old maid, Mother Teresa,
Amelia Earhart, Tokyo Rose,
a trophy wife, a calendar pin-up,
a butch, a femme, a lesbian,
a tomboy, lady luck, a virginal
bride with white lace draped
over her face, a genderless soldier
dying in Iraq or Afghanistan.
Choosing her own set of smoky eyes,
based on the dominant life she is living,
the facade of faces tenaciously battle
the many women that inhabit her existence.
Which one will be her mask to rule?
Which one is the average face
of the American woman?
Never mix your women. Charles Jerningham
Phi is a Mysterious Number
Fighting for the front forum
the cracking open has started.
Just throw the fedora to the past
and find a glimpse into the
reflection of the multiple personalities
living inside each individual’s head.
Her heads, inside of heads,
slipping inside of heads, all demanding
a certain measure of face value.
She was wearing veneer glasses
yesterday,
propped onto a undiscerning nose. She was
seeing external faces with an internal tone.
Faces creeping up the catacomb of neural cords
patiently waiting for the front view--
hoarding faces, fighting faces,
sexual kitten, Marilyn Monroe.
Does she crave
the golden ratio of the face
as her Barbie pink vision
melts into June Cleaver, a witch
doctor, a cat fight,
a prostitute of position,
a sot smeared firewoman,
the old maid, Mother Teresa,
Amelia Earhart, Tokyo Rose,
a trophy wife, a calendar pin-up,
a butch, a femme, a lesbian,
a tomboy, lady luck, a virginal
bride with white lace draped
over her face, a genderless soldier
dying in Iraq or Afghanistan.
Choosing her own set of smoky eyes,
based on the dominant life she is living,
the facade of faces tenaciously battle
the many women that inhabit her existence.
Which one will be her mask to rule?
Which one is the average face
of the American woman?
Friday, August 26, 2011
YOU ARE CHERISHED
These faces belong to each of us as we are connected through the ribbons of time. And to each of my friends-- know we each belong to the other.
You Are Cherished
Inside my heart, there lives a place
ferocious as the ocean, loyal as the
land, gentle as endless oxygen, as
pure as a fragrant red rose blooming,
and there is where I know you as I
know inside of my soul;
I will be your roof in storms,
shoes for your bruised feet,
found breath under a turbulent sea,
and safety in the bones of ruins.
Inside my heart, you are my home.
For you and for me, simultaneously
balanced in the eternal worlds, connected
by invisible cords, faultless lips speak
no words, each word, trusted words to each.
I cherish you, as I know inside my heart,
I will be here for you and you for me.
We are sheltered on our spiritual path,
my breath flows over history to your lungs,
your blood inside the veins of my purpose.
You Are Cherished
Inside my heart, there lives a place
ferocious as the ocean, loyal as the
land, gentle as endless oxygen, as
pure as a fragrant red rose blooming,
and there is where I know you as I
know inside of my soul;
I will be your roof in storms,
shoes for your bruised feet,
found breath under a turbulent sea,
and safety in the bones of ruins.
Inside my heart, you are my home.
For you and for me, simultaneously
balanced in the eternal worlds, connected
by invisible cords, faultless lips speak
no words, each word, trusted words to each.
I cherish you, as I know inside my heart,
I will be here for you and you for me.
We are sheltered on our spiritual path,
my breath flows over history to your lungs,
your blood inside the veins of my purpose.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
ALMONDS IN THE ELEVATOR AT THE SEAVIEW INN
“Earthquakes move mountains. But so do imagination and ingenuity — when
matched with implementation."
Almonds in the Elevator at the Seaview Inn
We are where we are for a reason as I navigate,
traveling north up the coast from Virginia, August of 2011.
I cannot forget the dropped almonds in the elevator,
an odd touchstone of our journey as we left room 392.
We are where we are for a reason.
I push the round button reading star-1 until it glows white.
A tall man sharing our elevator stares into me,
eye to eye, (the first true elevator was invented in 1850.)
Side mirrors reflecting rippling pictures of our cab ride,
reliving an identical message, we are the same as ripples
in each layer of time. We all look down to the almonds,
a broken cluster of oily fruit, the same brown as the wood floor,
next to an inlay of a compass rose. We ride the dependable elevator,
which moves up and down between four historical floors in
a hotel established in 1914. I capture the 45 seconds
dive through the shaft, the suspension of our drop in
a shared pulley system in lieu of steps, we are all
locked in a conversation of the proper destination of an almond.
The bronzed doors open and quietly disappear into the pockets
of the lobby walls, perfectly fit layers. The man says,
”I will not forget the almonds in the elevator,” and we exit.
I won’t forget the concrete porch of Fred and Ethel’s
Lantern Light Tavern moving, magnitude 5.8, from the
shifting plates of our earth’s mantel, back and forth,
mirages of heat waves, a reverse faulting,
(the last quake in Virginia was in 1875,
leaving broken windows and fallen chimneys.)
The rippling cement is tricking the nature of reality;
our water glasses are trembling. Am I confused or
am I imagining as the hidden layers of the earth are colliding,
I think I am dying. I ask my daughter, “do you feel it?” I feel like
a lost ship deserted in a desert pining for its ocean, knowing
bone
dry
sand
is not my oxygen. It struck me,
the entire eastern shore is shifting, an earth quake, and
within 45 seconds the earth’s plates settle.
The ground is stable. Is it dependable?
Was the man who said he would not forget the almond on the elevator
wondering where the woman with the three children was while the earth trembled?
We are where we are for a reason.
matched with implementation."
Almonds in the Elevator at the Seaview Inn
We are where we are for a reason as I navigate,
traveling north up the coast from Virginia, August of 2011.
I cannot forget the dropped almonds in the elevator,
an odd touchstone of our journey as we left room 392.
We are where we are for a reason.
I push the round button reading star-1 until it glows white.
A tall man sharing our elevator stares into me,
eye to eye, (the first true elevator was invented in 1850.)
Side mirrors reflecting rippling pictures of our cab ride,
reliving an identical message, we are the same as ripples
in each layer of time. We all look down to the almonds,
a broken cluster of oily fruit, the same brown as the wood floor,
next to an inlay of a compass rose. We ride the dependable elevator,
which moves up and down between four historical floors in
a hotel established in 1914. I capture the 45 seconds
dive through the shaft, the suspension of our drop in
a shared pulley system in lieu of steps, we are all
locked in a conversation of the proper destination of an almond.
The bronzed doors open and quietly disappear into the pockets
of the lobby walls, perfectly fit layers. The man says,
”I will not forget the almonds in the elevator,” and we exit.
I won’t forget the concrete porch of Fred and Ethel’s
Lantern Light Tavern moving, magnitude 5.8, from the
shifting plates of our earth’s mantel, back and forth,
mirages of heat waves, a reverse faulting,
(the last quake in Virginia was in 1875,
leaving broken windows and fallen chimneys.)
The rippling cement is tricking the nature of reality;
our water glasses are trembling. Am I confused or
am I imagining as the hidden layers of the earth are colliding,
I think I am dying. I ask my daughter, “do you feel it?” I feel like
a lost ship deserted in a desert pining for its ocean, knowing
bone
dry
sand
is not my oxygen. It struck me,
the entire eastern shore is shifting, an earth quake, and
within 45 seconds the earth’s plates settle.
The ground is stable. Is it dependable?
Was the man who said he would not forget the almond on the elevator
wondering where the woman with the three children was while the earth trembled?
We are where we are for a reason.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
DAUGHTER OF THE OCEAN
I found PEACE written on a wall in Philadelphia months ago and believe finding peace in the midst of chaos is truly for the one who can decipher it. In Daughter of the Ocean, I write of watching this elderly woman sleep in peace in an overly populated Starbucks and I ponder if she knows something we do not. She sleeps among the company of strangers is a defining line for her and how peace is somehow mixed into the air we breath or the visions our universe offers us.
Daughter of the Ocean
A year to the day in August, for the second time
I recognize an elderly Indian woman’s abode.
She is honored in an over-sized brown leather chair
at Starbucks on Ocean Drive, Virginia Beach, Virginia.
Warm jeweled skin, silvery hair feathered
with black streaks pulled to a quiet coiled
bun, a straight cane propped beside her;
she sleeps among the company of strangers.
No hissing espresso maker, no release of steam,
no calling of orders touch her sense of peace.
The stillness is what she breaths in at the coffee
house, a silky blanket of noise in the midst of chaos.
She appears anesthetized as racing nerves surround her.
The eager retire in beds where she departs through a third eye.
A bed, lying prone, a husband and wife converse of
growing kids and lists of plans to mantle their time alone.
A bed obsolete to a place of love, a sanctuary where music,
high definition television, and internet infiltrate intimacy.
A bed shy to the relationship it holds, life’s trumpeting words
filling the empty space, lectures litigating long forgotten devotions.
The time passes with ripened understanding; the Indian woman
belongs in the coffee shop more than the tired relationship of
communication. She prays to a trillion stars, intently listening internally,
not contemplating opinions, her chest rhythmically rising and falling.
She meditate back through the culture of her mantra--
the elderly in loll, a husband in a bed of denial,
a wife frozen in missionary, a woman standing alone in society,
a naive girl who is beginning her lessons, the birth of her bequeath.
Today, a statuesque Indian goddess balances the notes of Vedas
against her recycled paper coffee cup, a circle with neither
start nor end, neither male nor female, an eternal peace. It is
what most seek-- what lies between the crust and core of being.
Daughter of the Ocean
A year to the day in August, for the second time
I recognize an elderly Indian woman’s abode.
She is honored in an over-sized brown leather chair
at Starbucks on Ocean Drive, Virginia Beach, Virginia.
Warm jeweled skin, silvery hair feathered
with black streaks pulled to a quiet coiled
bun, a straight cane propped beside her;
she sleeps among the company of strangers.
No hissing espresso maker, no release of steam,
no calling of orders touch her sense of peace.
The stillness is what she breaths in at the coffee
house, a silky blanket of noise in the midst of chaos.
She appears anesthetized as racing nerves surround her.
The eager retire in beds where she departs through a third eye.
A bed, lying prone, a husband and wife converse of
growing kids and lists of plans to mantle their time alone.
A bed obsolete to a place of love, a sanctuary where music,
high definition television, and internet infiltrate intimacy.
A bed shy to the relationship it holds, life’s trumpeting words
filling the empty space, lectures litigating long forgotten devotions.
The time passes with ripened understanding; the Indian woman
belongs in the coffee shop more than the tired relationship of
communication. She prays to a trillion stars, intently listening internally,
not contemplating opinions, her chest rhythmically rising and falling.
She meditate back through the culture of her mantra--
the elderly in loll, a husband in a bed of denial,
a wife frozen in missionary, a woman standing alone in society,
a naive girl who is beginning her lessons, the birth of her bequeath.
Today, a statuesque Indian goddess balances the notes of Vedas
against her recycled paper coffee cup, a circle with neither
start nor end, neither male nor female, an eternal peace. It is
what most seek-- what lies between the crust and core of being.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
HER EMOTIONAL CAPACITY IS ZERO
If you see a whole thing - it seems that it's always beautiful. Planets, lives... But up close a world's all dirt and rocks. And day to day, life's a hard job, you get tired, you lose the pattern. Ursula K. Le Guin
Her Emotional Capacity is Zero
Breathing, she slips away into her dark,
into the place where she doesn’t feel,
rare colorful times flood the streets laughing, she
is walking; she thinks like the inside of a rock,
one could say that is her concrete history,
the silent heart spread on the earth.
Once, war used a rock as a weapon,
to build a fortress, to cause a lesion.
A rock turned into a tombstone marking
the beginning of an end to a person, and
lilies were placed on a grave to transcend death,
and a part of her died as she remembers her history.
A rock to her is the foundation of church,
the intimacy of being, the sacrifice of words,
the bond of a crystalline friendship, and core meaning.
She slips away to a place where
laughter is eroded, trust is the talc on a face,
where cries of ancient bricks are heard and
haunt her insides cursing her far away ashen eyes.
She slips away into the closing of today with an iron
burden, taking hundreds of hands to bury a story;
she slips away, she slips away.
Her Emotional Capacity is Zero
Breathing, she slips away into her dark,
into the place where she doesn’t feel,
rare colorful times flood the streets laughing, she
is walking; she thinks like the inside of a rock,
one could say that is her concrete history,
the silent heart spread on the earth.
Once, war used a rock as a weapon,
to build a fortress, to cause a lesion.
A rock turned into a tombstone marking
the beginning of an end to a person, and
lilies were placed on a grave to transcend death,
and a part of her died as she remembers her history.
A rock to her is the foundation of church,
the intimacy of being, the sacrifice of words,
the bond of a crystalline friendship, and core meaning.
She slips away to a place where
laughter is eroded, trust is the talc on a face,
where cries of ancient bricks are heard and
haunt her insides cursing her far away ashen eyes.
She slips away into the closing of today with an iron
burden, taking hundreds of hands to bury a story;
she slips away, she slips away.
Friday, August 5, 2011
HE PLAYED FOOTBALL ONCE, #76
The oddity of a football floating up to me as I ponder on the dock of the bay is a sign. I can't ignore the idea the universe is continuously sending clues for us to pay attention to directions, truths, choices, and messages from the spirits.
When each day is the same as the next, it's because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day that the sun rises.
The Alchemist
He Played Football Once, #76
Fate leads me to the dead-end
of Fern Street. I am drawn to the
morning sun as it glistens off the bay;
I climb the wood railing and sit.
Oddly, a football floats towards
me and remains as my buddy,
bobbing back and forth causing a tiny
wake inside me, whispering some lyrical music
docked on the lacing of its play.
Questions arrive
of tactics, of patience,
of teamwork, of challenge,
of water left under a bridge,
of death, of life, of forgiveness,
of change. The ripples leave one answer,
nothing remains the same.
I feel the sun on my shoulders,
my breath filled with summer salt,
the warmth comforts my heart;
I bow my head and thank Sunday
for blessing me with chance.
There is something solid about the
wood railing my hands grasp,
I imagine
the black undercurrent of life
which can leave a paralyzed pain,
the peace of seeing what was,
feeling what cannot be seen,
and the freedom of white seagull wings.
The ominous brown football still dances,
for what seems like hours, misplaced in water,
on the moving bay in front of me.
My father still lives in my veins, I internalize.
We say hello and exchange only what
the past can remember or a hand can hold.
I find patience for the next passing sign.
When each day is the same as the next, it's because people fail to recognize the good things that happen in their lives every day that the sun rises.
The Alchemist
He Played Football Once, #76
Fate leads me to the dead-end
of Fern Street. I am drawn to the
morning sun as it glistens off the bay;
I climb the wood railing and sit.
Oddly, a football floats towards
me and remains as my buddy,
bobbing back and forth causing a tiny
wake inside me, whispering some lyrical music
docked on the lacing of its play.
Questions arrive
of tactics, of patience,
of teamwork, of challenge,
of water left under a bridge,
of death, of life, of forgiveness,
of change. The ripples leave one answer,
nothing remains the same.
I feel the sun on my shoulders,
my breath filled with summer salt,
the warmth comforts my heart;
I bow my head and thank Sunday
for blessing me with chance.
There is something solid about the
wood railing my hands grasp,
I imagine
the black undercurrent of life
which can leave a paralyzed pain,
the peace of seeing what was,
feeling what cannot be seen,
and the freedom of white seagull wings.
The ominous brown football still dances,
for what seems like hours, misplaced in water,
on the moving bay in front of me.
My father still lives in my veins, I internalize.
We say hello and exchange only what
the past can remember or a hand can hold.
I find patience for the next passing sign.
Friday, July 29, 2011
THE LONG SONG OF JULY
Counting on the balance of the tides, the moon, and the sun, we are blessed. Thank God for my July.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
I do not think they will sing to me.
I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown. T.S.Elliot
The Long Song of July
The sunrise gave me chills today;
the sun was kissing my face goodbye.
It’s Friday; I habitually pray.
It’s my last Friday in July.
Every 823 years,
my birthday is 8-23,
it is auspicious,
I believe. Life happens—
5 Fridays,
5 Saturdays,
5 Sundays in July.
My kids, flying kites,
jumping from pilings into the bay, back flips,
crabs biting tiny feet,
ankle bracelets,
beach combing collecting shells, or
dead horseshoe crabs named Mr. Shoe.
Dance parties turning zumba,
bike rides flying into adventures,
writing song lyrics, poetry, prose,
catching crabs, drinking beers,
eating lobsters and soft ice cream,
watching my 20th sunrise on Sunday with you.
Wave jumping, wave diving, boogie boarding,
belly laughing,
loving, oh so easy to love you,
formal dress equals bikini.
Ruby Jersey tomatoes and mac and cheese,
150’s exercise program, 2 minute plank,
showers outside in the rain,
sometimes under the stars;
how can I ever shower indoors?
Dolphins dancing, fish jumping
friends visiting,
sun setting, church bells ringing,
bong, bong, bong, I’ve so enjoyed the bells,
fine bottles of red wine,
sandy feet, sandy sheets,full moon,
gritty teeth, ocean owns salty hair, not a care,
front porch lounging, ocean breeze blowing.
I miss you with my body and soul.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
I do not think they will sing to me.
I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown. T.S.Elliot
The Long Song of July
The sunrise gave me chills today;
the sun was kissing my face goodbye.
It’s Friday; I habitually pray.
It’s my last Friday in July.
Every 823 years,
my birthday is 8-23,
it is auspicious,
I believe. Life happens—
5 Fridays,
5 Saturdays,
5 Sundays in July.
My kids, flying kites,
jumping from pilings into the bay, back flips,
crabs biting tiny feet,
ankle bracelets,
beach combing collecting shells, or
dead horseshoe crabs named Mr. Shoe.
Dance parties turning zumba,
bike rides flying into adventures,
writing song lyrics, poetry, prose,
catching crabs, drinking beers,
eating lobsters and soft ice cream,
watching my 20th sunrise on Sunday with you.
Wave jumping, wave diving, boogie boarding,
belly laughing,
loving, oh so easy to love you,
formal dress equals bikini.
Ruby Jersey tomatoes and mac and cheese,
150’s exercise program, 2 minute plank,
showers outside in the rain,
sometimes under the stars;
how can I ever shower indoors?
Dolphins dancing, fish jumping
friends visiting,
sun setting, church bells ringing,
bong, bong, bong, I’ve so enjoyed the bells,
fine bottles of red wine,
sandy feet, sandy sheets,full moon,
gritty teeth, ocean owns salty hair, not a care,
front porch lounging, ocean breeze blowing.
I miss you with my body and soul.
Friday, July 22, 2011
THE BETTY CROCKER LIFE
I have been writing for the month of July at a beach house that is decorated in the original decor of the 50's. I could not help but think of the history that a kitchen table has seen, felt, and fed. Between swimming and cooking for my family, I wrote a poem for the past living in the present.
“Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can only read the title” Virginia Woolf
The Betty Crocker Life
On the margins,
written in #2 lead pencil
or blue ballpoint ink
cursive words form a second life
in The Big Red cook book. An icon
gifted from a mother to her wedded daughter
sometime in 1950 or was it '51? Notes
combined with cheery all-American recipes,
on the pages unfolds a family's history.
There was a baby boy born March of 1950.
The exact date of a son or a brother written
in the corner, a keystone in the arch
of freedom. Cloth diapers, next is war.
Kennedy was assassinated on 10/22,
a rainy Friday afternoon; there are
stains on the page for double pie crust.
Are they tear drops or fingertips of Crisco oil?
There are no faint hearts written upon
the burnished cook book paper.
The price of bread, the price of love,
the price of gas all noted on the column
where the meatloaf with mashed recipe is.
Lists of errands, phone numbers, dates
of deaths and births, measurements for
a vanilla cake with the exact baking time,
August 8th was the day the neighbor gave it.
What is hidden on the pages of a solitary
life? The history of the past, the mechanics
of two hands cooking in a kitchen,
momma’s words helping a soldier march
through the fields and one day he will go home
and on and on the words and numbers go,
and soon we will all go home.
White holidays and a questioning family,
the traditional brown gravy spills on embroidered
linen, mother’s wrinkled hand trembles and she stares
looking for responses to a thousand questions
hidden somewhere in the margins; a dictation
of her life mixed into misery’s crippled step
trying to make the basis for an old time recipe for
her family’s Sunday dinner in the 21 century.
“Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can only read the title” Virginia Woolf
The Betty Crocker Life
On the margins,
written in #2 lead pencil
or blue ballpoint ink
cursive words form a second life
in The Big Red cook book. An icon
gifted from a mother to her wedded daughter
sometime in 1950 or was it '51? Notes
combined with cheery all-American recipes,
on the pages unfolds a family's history.
There was a baby boy born March of 1950.
The exact date of a son or a brother written
in the corner, a keystone in the arch
of freedom. Cloth diapers, next is war.
Kennedy was assassinated on 10/22,
a rainy Friday afternoon; there are
stains on the page for double pie crust.
Are they tear drops or fingertips of Crisco oil?
There are no faint hearts written upon
the burnished cook book paper.
The price of bread, the price of love,
the price of gas all noted on the column
where the meatloaf with mashed recipe is.
Lists of errands, phone numbers, dates
of deaths and births, measurements for
a vanilla cake with the exact baking time,
August 8th was the day the neighbor gave it.
What is hidden on the pages of a solitary
life? The history of the past, the mechanics
of two hands cooking in a kitchen,
momma’s words helping a soldier march
through the fields and one day he will go home
and on and on the words and numbers go,
and soon we will all go home.
White holidays and a questioning family,
the traditional brown gravy spills on embroidered
linen, mother’s wrinkled hand trembles and she stares
looking for responses to a thousand questions
hidden somewhere in the margins; a dictation
of her life mixed into misery’s crippled step
trying to make the basis for an old time recipe for
her family’s Sunday dinner in the 21 century.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
SUN, SAND, AND MOON
Faith... Have faith in the dances that you cherish as the moments move on.
“All lovers live by longing, and endure; summon a vision and declare it pure”
Theodore Roethke
Sun, Sand, and Moon
I confess to the calling as I am awakened from my dreams,
our iridescent morning is tiptoeing to the ocean’s consistent edge.
The awaiting vivaciousness of the eastern burgeoning sun;
the calm and steadfastness of the western moon settling.
Both are breathing just beyond the reach of my fingertips,
a polar parallel of tangerine cerise and pale fairuza.
Teasing, distracting, solemnly forgiving, a full lotus closing just as
the silver piercing arrives, they don't realize that each is chasing the other.
Simultaneously, the untamed are face to face in each other’s sky,
sharing the same heavens, the revolving pearl and the sun’s arriving heart.
An aching love affair wrapped in a beautiful symmetry. The sun
asks the moon to press his white face upon their eclipsed lips and kiss.
She is saturating his opal mind with a heated drawling shine
until his fullness is weak and waning and falling back into darkness.
Two universes share the lapis sky for only a short time. Their
interlude, their burden of knowing the fate of the other will fade,
only trying to get closer to one another’s destiny, an endless attraction,
the clockwise orbit of their love will never allow them to unite.
Two lovers meet at sunrise for a dance upon the beach
only having to separate when the silent internal music ends.
The pound in my chest ceases momentarily consummating my faith.
Confessing to me, when this day is over, night will start again.
“All lovers live by longing, and endure; summon a vision and declare it pure”
Theodore Roethke
Sun, Sand, and Moon
I confess to the calling as I am awakened from my dreams,
our iridescent morning is tiptoeing to the ocean’s consistent edge.
The awaiting vivaciousness of the eastern burgeoning sun;
the calm and steadfastness of the western moon settling.
Both are breathing just beyond the reach of my fingertips,
a polar parallel of tangerine cerise and pale fairuza.
Teasing, distracting, solemnly forgiving, a full lotus closing just as
the silver piercing arrives, they don't realize that each is chasing the other.
Simultaneously, the untamed are face to face in each other’s sky,
sharing the same heavens, the revolving pearl and the sun’s arriving heart.
An aching love affair wrapped in a beautiful symmetry. The sun
asks the moon to press his white face upon their eclipsed lips and kiss.
She is saturating his opal mind with a heated drawling shine
until his fullness is weak and waning and falling back into darkness.
Two universes share the lapis sky for only a short time. Their
interlude, their burden of knowing the fate of the other will fade,
only trying to get closer to one another’s destiny, an endless attraction,
the clockwise orbit of their love will never allow them to unite.
Two lovers meet at sunrise for a dance upon the beach
only having to separate when the silent internal music ends.
The pound in my chest ceases momentarily consummating my faith.
Confessing to me, when this day is over, night will start again.
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